For the benefit of younger readers, the title alludes to a very instructive tale about battle preparation. It's the type of thing rejected by schools in favour of things like "Emotional Intelligence" (see the snarly face? it means I'm ANGRY. Really? Wow.)

So, for want of a nail, the horse was lost, for want of a horse, the soldier was lost for want of a soldier the battle was lost etc. You get the point.

So for want of a tiny bit of plastic that has snapped off, the baby seat in the car is lost. For want of a car seat, I've got to go out in the snow in about 5 minutes (06:40 - thanks, child) to put another one in. Of course I'm not the type to give up on a small piece of plastic without trying to fix it with superglue, even though I knew it wouldn't work. It's no use spoiling the battleship for a happorth of tar, though spoiling a fairly new worktop and at least one of my fingers when the superglue tube splits and leaks all over it is another matter.

Have you ever price-compared superglue in a big DIY store?
I think the stuff I bought worked out at £897 a kilogram.

Handle with care - it bonds in seconds. That was your catch phrase.

39
At the age of 39
I'm getting past my prime
Elusive gravitas
As the years pass
Most go
For the big four-oh
For me it must suffice
To have been 13 thrice.
(nb next prime at 41)

I wrote that 3 years ago, when I clearly felt I still had oodles of impish juvenile charm.

Now I'm 42, just a touch greyer at the edges, we have another mouth to feed and my mother's slowly dying. This morning I didn't feel very impish at all.

Since then I've been romping round a wacky warehouse, watched the new Harry Potter film and set the security alarm off in Asda with a security tag from a dvd which I keep in my wallet specifically for that purpose. I guess I'm not at retirement age yet.

Again, I know you don't need to know. Why would you want to know? But this is what you're getting...

Up at 6:30 with 18 mnth old who does not understand concept of weekend. Did manage to watch TCM for "The Alphabet Murders" - an adaptation of Agatha Christie's ABC murders - for the sake of the black and white shots of London traffic.

15yr old up at 7:30; took him down the shops to pick up his papers as he's still recovering from day off school (I know, that's not a real illness) and ended up doing most of it in the car. His throat was so sore he was pointing directions. You spoil that boy.

Took him and three team mates to LFE for doubles match (slight recovery!)which meant having to remove baby seat and stuff it in boot, along with 3 huge racquet bags. Reflect on fact that my child only one who takes just one racquet to match. As a simple border country boy*1 I'm pleased he doesn't suffer from racquet bag envy *2
They win 12-0 while I entertain myself.*3

Money spent today
£50 on mending seal on washing machine
£25 on dvds*4
£35 on Christmas presents

Daughter 12 went shopping in Leicester; I would rather stick pins in my eyes. Unused to real shops as I am, I was only able to cope with the one shop- and spent most of my time trying to stop the youth from destroying the place.

I'm 42 tomorrow.

Saturday night TV - it's a brewery conspiracy, isn't it?
For additional notes, see below...

*1 As in the sense implied by Raymond Williams' novel Border Country, ie between the city and the country - in my case between the Rossendale valley and Gtr Manchester. In neither was tennis the thing;
*2 I feel like a sore thumb out of water in tennis clubs.

*3 "Entertain myself" here depended upon my trusty PalmOne LifeDrive (here). I'm not a technogeek, honest. It took a while for me to come to terms with the hard drive after my lightning fast Tungsten T3. However, thanks to the wonders of Avantgo (here)I have the equivalent of several papers, weather maps, tv listings cinema reviews and the like. And I know I was banging on in a similar vein testerday, so I'll shut up on the good technology...but I also had all the music I needed as well*5

*4 Other half, having had no time to buy either card or present for tomorrow's birthday (how sweet), gave me a price guide of £25 and told me to buy my own. You can tell she loves me.
You don't need to know what I spent the money on, but inevitably I'm going to tell you.

Thanks to the twin generosity of Borders 2 for a tenner and £5 off £25 I purchased:

1 Kind Hearts and Coronets (never seen it)
2 Prick up Your Ears (ditto; but I've been in the PorkPie library)
3 The Shining (ditto. What have I done with my life?)
4 Hamlet (Nicol Williamson; I didn't rate his Macbeth!)
5 Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (half seen it three times)
6 The Freddie Flintoff Story (so my eldest can give it to me, cus he hasn't had time to shop either; Good Grief!)

*5 You don't need to know my Playlist 10 for watching tennis while simultaneously browsing Avantgo and marking exam papers - of course you don't - so here it is:
1 Land of Hope and Dreams - Bruce Sprinsteen
2 Take me Back 'Ome - Slade
3 24 hour garage people - Half Man Half Biscuit
4 Fifteen Years - The Levellers
5 Into the Valley - The Skids
6 Mr Pharmacist - The Fall
7 Pills and Soap - Elvis Costello
8 Rich Kids - Rich Kids (!)
9 Smile Like You Mean it - The Killers
10 Janie Jones - Songdog
# 11 - Dogcast Radio. More of that later...

Good technology?
For a start, who can remind me who produced the song with that title way back in the 80s, which boasted that "We've got coffee that is instantaneous" and "We have cigarettes that are low in tar" - both of which would count as bad technonlogy in my book. Good technology would include wireless broadband and the ability to download newspapers from Spain, Sudoku puzzles, recipes, film reviews and media monkey to a PDA at the touch of a stylus. (If only I had a homing stylus - lost the beggar again).
If I could find the lyrics we could do a "Yesterday's World" retrospective and play good tech bad tech.
Bad tech has to include whatever flavour of the month in TVs is this month. Our 32" widescreen cost £50 from a bloke in Hinckley who was moving to the far East; the second 28" cost £60 from a bloke who'd replaced it with a rear projection monster that was bigger than his house. TVs are boring.And by the way, the future of TVs is ADHDTV - read about it here

Good Technology took this fantastic early warning satellite photograph of hurricane Wilma

Bad technonlogy: the internal combustion engine
Good technology: the bicycle
Bad technolgy: the machine that has been ringing me all day, at home and at work, to ask in a sad parody of S. Hawkin's voice, to "press one if you know your child was absent from school today, press two if you were unaware" despite the fact that I went to the school in person twice, once to tell them he was ill (8:15 am) and once to ask their f***ing machine to stop ringing me (2:15pm ) - last call 7:15pm on a Friday night.
Good technology: the hammer. Let me at it.

Five Live Debate About Little Britain's Stereotypes
Victoria Derbyshire: Many people would agree that Little Britain is offensive to the elderly, especially those who suffer from some of the ailments assosciated with old age. But let's go the callers. Let's hear from Frank.
Frank: Hello Victoria.
Victoria: Now Frank, I understand you suffer from incontinence.
Frank: That's right, I do.
Victoria: And did you find the sketch in which an eldery woman released a "golden shower" of urine offensive
Frank: No, Victoria, I didn't
Victoria: So did you laugh?
Frank: Laugh? I nearly wet myself.

I'm paraphrasing a paraphrase because I didn't hear it myself, but I'm assured a conversation like this did actually take place.

One for you Mathematicians...

See, this is precisely the kind of narcissistic up yourself nonsense you end up writing if you decide that the rest of the world really needs to know about the sad minutiae of your life. You don't need to know. I accept that. And yet I'm going to share the information anyway:

Perrine's "Structure, Sound and Sense" - LOROS - £4
I could write a book about this book, which I first bought out of a chest freezer in a flea market in Cochecton NY in 1984; originally £18.95 from Leicester University bookshop - and I'm in danger of listing differences between this, the 7th edition, and my other copy (4th edition)
Sex and The City Box Series 1 Vid Set (4) - OXFAM- £4
Didn't ever watch it - am I the only one?- but the title of episode 3, "Bay of Married Pigs," was enough to end my hesitation.
Auf Wiedersen Pet Series 1 Vid set (2) - OXFAM - £2
"over 5 hours of classic comedy" RIP Gary Holton
Charly Says... Public Infor. Film compilation vid - ibid - 99p
"WARNING: These films were made in the days before political correctness, and may include patronising remarks, sexism and stereotypical casting. To avoid offended sensibilities, please view in post-modern, ironic context only. You know it makes sense."
Been after the DVD for ages, after a recommendation (Hi, Lee) but this will do for now. Again, I'll stop short of a full track listing and the psychological state of the nation that produced the final film, "Protect and Survive:Casualties* *untransmitted 30 yrs ago.
Brief Encounter - film - 99p
Is that some grit in your eye or are you just pleased to see me?
British Electric Foundation audiocassette - Music of quality and Distinction - ibid - 20p
"The BEF...who wants to be with them...anyway..." Mark Edward Smith
Featuring Bernie Nolan singing "You keep me hanging on"!!!!!!!!!
Featuring Billy McKenzie singing "It's Over"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Featuring Gary Glitter singing "Suspicious Minds"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Elvis Costello audiocassette - Punch the Clock - ibid - 20p
Pills and Soap; Shipbuilding...Anyone recall the eighties when the news bulletins were full of torched cars and coppers in body armour, just like France now
4 chick lit novels for the other half - ibid - £2
Gaudy colours and thirtysomethings looking for....
One two-piece snooker cue and case - ibid - £7
Because it was there.

NME with free cover mount cd - Mercury News Shop - £1.95
Leicester Mercury - ibid - 32p

If you use shopping to fill sad gaps in your life, and I know many of us do, then keep away from swanky clothes shops and help a charity of your choice too. I can't believe you can have so much fun / stuff for less that 15 quid!
I bought some less cool things too - no mentions, but don't be surpised to see some extra Shery Crow videos or Crowded House casssettes in a cheap spot on Ebay some time soon.

If was only trawling round unfamiliar charity shop territory after some in-service training on the Secondary strategy, featuring lots of CHALLENGE from the government and, more pertinently, County Hall,and an afternoon which was let's face it not the hardest I've ever worked in my life. I needed to spend some money by the end of it.

NB
"I am writing to complain about the episode of The Hoobs that was broadcast this morning at 6:30 am. Ivr was trying to find a new hobby, and I think it was irresponsible to suggest that racing in the Hoob mobile would be a suitable pastime. We do not need this programmme promoting speed and its effects unrealistically; the only consequence for the hairy racer was that the motorettes felt a bit worn out, whereas in reality he would have probably have wrapped his vehicle round a tree, leaving only a sad bunch of flowers tied to a crash barrier as his legacy. I like The Hoobs - it promotes a healthy spirit of enquiry, though one does get sick of all the director's mates' posh children in the tiddly-peep roles. However you have let your usual high standards slip here, and I feel an on screen apology (ideally from Groove or Roamer) would be in order."
Hooble - dooble - do!

Built up a considerable burst of righteous indignation tonight, all over my college's repeated failure to provide me with an overhead projector. How piggin' hard can it be? If I have to hear any more about how the "new improved" version of adult learning has revolutionised the blah blah, I'll have to kill someone, cus none of it's helping me teach any better, and I've had enough. It's the overhead projector that broke the camel's back.

Working late on Tuesday night puts my body clock out of kilter, forcing me to slump on the sofa with a stiff drink until midnight has passed, catching up on some podcasts, Champions League highlights and other time-draining unnecessaries. At least tonight I managed to avoid calling in to Asda on the way home and blowing my wages on cds, budget dvds, Pringles and out of date sandwiches.

My soft dad got a bit of grief in yesterday's post, so here's a picture of him camping in Cornwall in more innocent times.

Get the kettle on.

We were asked last Monday to object in writing if we didn't like the proposal to limit the number of guests at the Christmas dinner.

King Lear's Retinue Diminishes
(at least that's a few folk off the christmas card list)

We don't need ghosts of Christmas Past
Eating our Christmas dinner;
We need to knock it on the head
and let them all get thinner.

At least I had the sense to keep my mouth shut when RG said "I may be a bit thick but..." but I couldn't keep the word "ironic" off my lips. Bugger!

Well frankly that's rather blunt, but we'll not dwell on that.
I can't believe I'm doing this. Everyone knows that bloggers need a miserable life, an unsympathetic boss and an asylum for a workplace - it's the essential backdrop to the blogger's craft. But I work in a school, so I'm unlikely to find anything absurd to write about.

Lot of kerfuffle in the ether about passport photo rejections - face too white, wrong shaped head, glasses obscuring eye sockets etc. For example, look here:
www.timesonline.co.uk/ article/0,,18409-1798723,00.html

However I still can't believe they rejected my soft father's effort. He's not even smiling, for goodness sake. It's political correctness gone mad!

Like Stella Rimmington says, it's a good job the poor folk are getting i.d. cards because they've been losing their sense of identity for years.