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Archives for: April 2006

Jack, a Very Dull Boy

by morelearning @ 30/04/06 - 09:21:23 pm

Bank Holiday Sunday. Ace.

Obviously spent most of it catching up, but just the thought of not having to go to work tomorrow kept me cheerful all day. I don't hate work that much, but you'll know what I mean.
Early start with the boy wonder (6:35 am) and pottered about with him, playing with his new engine (Emily. She's a GIRL!) and half watching MOTD. Tackled the fish; still leaking a bit, but he seemed to welcome the attention. Boy wonder spent the time sitting on the top of the kitchen units, staring at the fish in its new measuring jug home and shouting "Fish! Wow!" incessantly.

Number 1 son called from Newton Harcourt, having been on an all-nighter round his mate's farmhouse ranch thing. When I got there the youngest threw balls for Tod the dog while I noticed the absence of adults and the presence of at least one female yoof. Remind myself of recent revelation, that son's allergy to sticking plaster might = latex allergy and therefore condom allergy. A conversation needs to had, I feel, otherwise we could be dealing with some unwanted swelling. Then again...

Half an hour in the garden, very much enjoying my buzzing mobile. There's an ELC sandpit at the top, which has become a pond containing water so fetid the frogs have laid the spawn next to it rather than in it. I worked on that.
Shopping party returned after a while. I watched in horror from the other side of the kitchen while a bottle of wine slid out of a bag, perform a slow somersault and the exploded on the tiles, cracking one of the. Memo to self: don't murder anyone in the kitchen, the cleaning up is a real bind.

Youngest tried to drive his new sit-on little red tractor, picked up from Scope yesterday for a fiver, aided by Beth and Lucy who returned from their sleepover about noon.
Picked up eldest from Leicestershire LTA (where he'd been dropped earlier by shopping party) and worked in garden further. I'd heard that gardening is the new rock and roll, but clearly I'd been misled.

It's not that we even have any flowers - it's all low maintenance evergreen - so it was mostly sweeping up, sawing a few branches and picking up fragments of flowerpot. If you've ever spent a warm summer evening in your local infirmary while your daughter bled all over the lino on account of having a bit of flowerpot in her wrist (and I know I have) then you don't mind jobs like that.
I managed to transfer a bit of holiday footage to video while tractor boy was asleep. (Posted this as a work in progress while I talked on the phone to my sister [in tears; wedding imminent] and my dad [maudlin; wedding imminent])
When the attraction of gardening waned (let's be honest, at least an hour after the attraction of gardening)we had a walk round the local area, escaping his n hers carland suburbia and noticing in passing that a lake has appeared at the bottom of our road. Chanced upon a game of cricket on the green, yoof of my acquaintance, and a huge smashed shot over mid on hung in the air for ages, the crowd hushed, before finally dropping into my ever-dependable safe pair of hands, bouncing off my thumb and rolling into a bush. The shame.

Made it to the local but tractor boy refused to stay in so had to drink outside in the cold. Rest of the evening in minor maintenance tasks, such as tagging some blogs and tidying the garage (so called because it used to be a garage) and speaking to parent / sister.

It sounds dull enough, don't you think. But I'm OK with it.
I'm off to pour myself a drink and admire some library poetry.

Drinking: whisky
Listening to: Sweet Suburbia, The Skids
(Neither of the above is true.Yet.)
IMG_3860IMG_3869IMG_3874


 
 

Acid Free?

by morelearning @ 29/04/06 - 06:10:08 pm

Dear WH Smith and co,
This afternoon I acquired some of your blotting paper, which was clearly marked on the packaging "Acid Free"
When I presented the sheets at the checkout the assistant asked me for £1.99. I know it's not a huge price to pay for top quality drugs, but I felt your packaging was unnecessarily misleading; surely "Acid Cheap" would be more accurate?
I dropped a couple of tabs immediately, but I found that the quality of the hallucinogenic experience was rather inferior to those to which I have become accustomed.
As a consequence I saw the following strange events:
* A man juggling with fiery sticks;
* A bloke with his hands up the arse of a tapdancing midget;
* A huge crowd gathered in the "Clarks" theatre; the only act appeared to be a gaggle of 16yr olds dressed in white nylon showing the audience weird shoes;
* A scary crowd of weird black creatures flapping around the Clock Tower (I've had that one before!)
By then the drugs had really kicked in and I started imagining that Dominoes Toy Shop had opened a cafe bar with a roof terrace in the middle of some 100yr old factories. As you will imagine, this was quite disturbing for a product that is openly on sale and could be purchased by minors. Perhaps you could put it on a higher shelf or charge a bit more - perhaps marking the packet "Acid dear" to dissuade vulnerable teenagers from falling victim to such harmful images.

A refund wouldn't go amiss either.
Thanks in anticipation
free

Did Jack the Ripper Come From Ashby?

by morelearning @ 26/04/06 - 09:40:30 pm

I suspect the answer is probably no.
The headline caught my eye tonight as I sped through the supermarket. It dominates the front page of...wait for it...The Leicester Chronicle. It must be some kind of supplement because i didn't think it existed anymore.
Even so, that's a headline to pull in the readers and no mistake.

I haven't blogged properly for ages, on account of being on holiday over Easter and then stepping off a plane at Gatwick and more or less walking straight into a two day interview. Didn't get back into the house until Sunday 2-30 am; the only thing that kept me awake was a large cone of coffee and the bickering about personal space on the back seat. If you want to know how tired I was I recommend you take a hyperactive two year old on a 4 1/2 hour plane trip.Enjoy.

How bizarre is this? One of the other interview candidates spent Easter on the same island...AT THE SAME TIME...IN THE SAME RESORT...IN THE SAME COMPLEX. What are the odds of that?
You may be tempted to tell me what the odds are. Please don't!

Haven't found out about the job yet. Spent most of the evening high on adrenaline and pacing the grounds like a caged tiger. I hope that sounded grand - in effect it meant kicking a ball round the close with the nipper. And now I'm just ....
INSERT YOUR FAVOURITE EXPRESSION FOR VERY TIRED HERE. WHAT DO YOU PREFER: TUCKERED OUT? BUSHED? SHAGGED OUT? BOLLOCKSED? ANSWERS IN A COMMENT PLEASE...very tired. So all I'll be able to manage by way of insights into the way the world works is the fact that on Fuerteventura the margarine is made by the same people who make the toilet roll holders. I thought you ought to know. Bye for nowwzzzzzzzzzz.
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O Brave New World, that has such people in it!

by morelearning @ 13/04/06 - 03:16:16 pm

This is fantastic.
I literally have NOTHING to say.
My brain has been drained and it feels brilliant.
I feel like a resident on one of Aldous Huxley´s holiday plantations in Brave New World, fed cheap booze and hot sun and turned into a zombie.
Shit. I´ve blown it now, haven´t I?

Here are some Spanish keyboard keys that you haven´t got, probably:
¿ ñ Ç €

Nah nah ner nah nah

Fun in the sun

by morelearning @ 10/04/06 - 04:38:53 pm

2 minutes of internet time left in which to say:

I am on holiday and luvvin it!

Hey! Let's go to Spain!

by morelearning @ 07/04/06 - 11:51:03 pm

Gone to Fuerteventura for a fortnight. Sun and sunloungers, wine song etc. Oh yes. Here's some pics of the kids from last time we were in the area...IMG_1171IMG_1135

Arrest that man!

by morelearning @ 01/04/06 - 08:50:33 pm

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No idea who he is, mind!
www.tektek.org/gaia_dream_creator/


 
 

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