Dear WH Smith and co,
This afternoon I acquired some of your blotting paper, which was clearly marked on the packaging "Acid Free"
When I presented the sheets at the checkout the assistant asked me for £1.99. I know it's not a huge price to pay for top quality drugs, but I felt your packaging was unnecessarily misleading; surely "Acid Cheap" would be more accurate?
I dropped a couple of tabs immediately, but I found that the quality of the hallucinogenic experience was rather inferior to those to which I have become accustomed.
As a consequence I saw the following strange events:
* A man juggling with fiery sticks;
* A bloke with his hands up the arse of a tapdancing midget;
* A huge crowd gathered in the "Clarks" theatre; the only act appeared to be a gaggle of 16yr olds dressed in white nylon showing the audience weird shoes;
* A scary crowd of weird black creatures flapping around the Clock Tower (I've had that one before!)
By then the drugs had really kicked in and I started imagining that Dominoes Toy Shop had opened a cafe bar with a roof terrace in the middle of some 100yr old factories. As you will imagine, this was quite disturbing for a product that is openly on sale and could be purchased by minors. Perhaps you could put it on a higher shelf or charge a bit more - perhaps marking the packet "Acid dear" to dissuade vulnerable teenagers from falling victim to such harmful images.
A refund wouldn't go amiss either.
Thanks in anticipation
...
http://vintagealamode.blog.co.uk
29/04/06 @ 17:30