What to do?
I could give you a brief resume of recent texts.
I could do with a second opinion.
That's for another time.

Ok - after yesterday's obscene Saturday 7:30 am alarm clock, we reverted to more natural methods.
A squirming child enters the bed at 6am.
Or is that now 7am? Something about the clocks wasn't there? I'm confused after getting up 70 minutes after going to sleep, to tend to "Wanna Bottle" Boy.

I called round at Local Drive to pick up cornerunitboughtoffebay. It's feckin enormous a bit bigger than I thought. I get it home in two loads while boy catches up on broken sleep (his, not mine).

Then to Melton to have fun. No 6p, but we'll manage.

We start with some fast food and then feed a packet of mini cheddars to the goats without losing any fingers. Later, when boy wonder challenges me to a slide race, I accidentally pull the remains of the packet all over his hair.

Got a bit sad cus the last time I was here we had big assault course challenge and a big game of hide and seek in the mini Western Town, and today I didn't go on any of the bigger rides cus none of my bigger kids would come with me - no matter, boy enjoyed a spell in gaol. When in the pretend bank, we encountered the traditional locked metal box for securing money and other valuables.
I engaged a random woman in conversation.
"That doesn't look very safe," I quipped.
Nobody laughed.

We looked at loads of animals, including the llamas ("These animals may spit") and then we watched some ferrets racing along half a mile of tubing in a big barn (one won; one didn't; it was good). Boy went on a tractor.
We went on the swings.
Boy said "This is fun!"
Then he said "That was great fun!"
Wow. Boy smiles. Dad smiles.
Then we went and broke all the rules about going on the big slide, including the one about needing a sack, the one about being at least five, the one about not wearing shoes and the one about not walking up the slide cus it's the quickest way to come down again.
Sorry.